Monday, June 12, 2006

Adolph Coulter

Blog etiquette dictates that the first person to invoke Hitler automatically loses. Ann Coulter, cited below, has accused liberals of liking Hitler and Katie Couric of being Eva Braun. So since she's already conceded the argument, I might as well mention that reading the chapter from her newest book linked below reminded me a lot of "Mein Kampf."

In fairness, I haven't read all of her book, but then I haven't read all of "Mein Kampf" either. "Mein Kampf" was one of two books in my library that literally was recovered from a garbage bin (the other, "Sex Show Sweetie," was a much better read). Since I am determined that Coulter will get none of my cash, I won't read all of her book, either, unless I have a productive Dumpster diving day.

But I was struck by the similarities between Coulter's book and Hitler's in terms of tone and attitude. By way of editorial experimentation, below is an excerpt from her newest book, edited to its essentials and with a couple of key changes: Everywhere she wrote "liberal" or "Democrat," I substituted "Jewish" or "Jew." Where she wrote "liberalism," I substituted "Judaism." Here's what happened:

If a Martian landed in America and set out to determine the nation’s official state religion, he would have to conclude it is Judaism. Judaism is a comprehensive belief system denying the Christian belief in man’s immortal soul. Everything Jews believe is in elegant opposition to basic Biblical precepts.

Through movies, magazines, and TV, Jews promote a cult of idealized beauty that is so extreme as to be unimaginable. Jews will lie about anything. “Constitutional right” means “Whatever Jews Want.” Instead of seeking wisdom, Jews desire to be seen as clever by being counterintuitive, crazy, and outrĂ©. They have an irreducible fascination with barbarism and will defend anything hateful. If Hitler hadn’t turned against their beloved Stalin, Jews would have stuck by him, too. The truly pathetic Jews are the ones who aren’t rich but ape the belief structure of fabulously wealthy Hollywood leftists anyway.

Only their core rejection of God can explain the bewildering array of Jewish positions. Public schools are what columnist Joe Sobran calls “Judaism’s reproductive system.” No longer content to ruin their own children, Jews insist on being subsidized by the taxpayer to ruin everyone else’s children, too. Jewish judges feel free to disregard the Supreme Court to achieve the overriding objective of keeping real religion out of government schools. At least the crazy Muslims get funding from Saudi Arabia for their madrassas. Jews force normal Americans to pay for their religious schools.

It’s no wonder Bible Belt, right-wing Christians get the greatest enjoyment out of sex (another scientific study hated by Jews) — they never have to endure listening to Jews talk about sex.

These zealous pagans teach the official state religion of Judaism as axiomatic truth. The stupidest of their students become journalists, churning out illiterate attacks on dissidents from the Jewish religion. Jews are constantly accusing Christians of being intolerant and self-righteous, but the most earnest Christian has never approached the preachy intolerance of a Jew who has just discovered … two born again Christians in a Republican administration.

Jews are constantly accusing Christians of monumental self-righteousness for daring to engage in free speech or for voting in accordance with their religious beliefs. Because they passionately believed in Marxism, Jews thought they had a right to lie about being Soviet spies.

Jews consider it self-evident that they are being persecuted simply for wanting to do the right thing and always believe their critics’ motives are vile and corrupt. They are for adultery, lying about adultery, covetousness, killing the unborn, and stealing from the middle class. They have more shibboleths than the Old Testament tribe of Gileadites.

If Jews ever dared speak coherently about what they believe, the American people would lynch them. So they claim to believe in God, much as Paul Begala claims to go “duck hunting” (Jewish code for “antiquing”).

In addition to Christians, whom Jews hate, the Jews are not particularly welcoming of “folks” who do not believe it is a Constitutional right to stick a fork in a baby’s head. Jews revile religion but insist on faking a belief in God in front of the voters claiming to be “spiritual.” I don’t particularly care if Jews believe in God. In fact, I would be crestfallen to discover any Jews in heaven. Jews can believe what they want to believe, but let us not flinch from identifying Judaism as the opposition party to God.

What do you think? I think Adolph would have loved this book!


ThursdayNext said...

What a frightening experiment based on the words of one scary thing. (Can't call her a human!)

Anonymous said...

Yes, but did you see her picture on the cover of 'How to talk to a liberal if you must'?

She's much better looking than Adolph Hitler!

Anonymous said...

My guess is that if she kept her pretty little mouth shut, her IQ would probably double. ;=) Of course, if we went back to the way things were that she and her neo-cons espouse, she'd be expected to keep her mouth shut (and she'd be the title heroine of "Sex Show Sweetie').

Kirk Dooley, Mesa AZ (a registered Mesa Democrat -- which means I'm protected by the Endangered Species Act)

Mark T said...

Excellent. It's a favorite tactic of Chomsky's - to reverse the names in news articles to expose American bias in reporting on official enemies. Bias in American journalism is so common that it is accepted as normal. It is when it DOESN'T exist, as when a reporter or columnist fails to cheer with adequate enthusiasm, which you address somewhat above in "Instapulp", that people scream bias.

Anonymous said...

Coulter is #1 on the New York Times best seller list this week. Way to go, Ann!

Chuck Rightmire said...

I read a column by Coulter once. After I got done throwing up, I vowed never to even touch her books or anything else she's written. Someday she may become a professional (but I doubt it).

Dave Rye said...

The Official Babe of the Vast Rightwing Conspiracy! Laura Ingraham, as First Princess, will step in, in the event Ann is unable to continue to perform her duties.

Anonymous said...

Wow! I think you did more than Ann in demonstrating the point she was trying to make -- that liberalism IS a religion -- has nothing to do with the thinking and reasoning or reality -- you just have to BELIEVE, man. Just have faith. He who invokes reason (Logi) is the devil.

David said...

Anonymous 722: Actually, the whole notion that liberalism is a religion is ridiculous. What makes you think it is?

Anonymous said...

I just finished "Godless" and loved it. She is too nice to liberals, though. I don't know why she doesn't use more of the terms they use to describe her. Maybe because she's too smart.